Tourniquet
by Golden Gypsy
Summary: The blood drips to the ground, hitting the floor with an uneven sound. As I watch it fall, I cannot help but ask myself, Am I too lost to be saved?


Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue. Also, the song is called Tourniquet, and it is by Evanescence. I HIGHLY recommend that you all find it and listen to it.

AN: Aight y'all, I FINALLY wrote some more stuff. Okay, well, technically I've written other stuff too but this is DEFINITELY the best so far of the random crap that's been comin' out of my brain. This is sorta my birthday present to myself. I decided that I wanted to write one decent angst fic….hopefully this is decent, lol…..Anywho, read, and hopefully enjoy! Oh yeah, and just a quick point I wanted to make. I'm really not religious in the sense that I pray at all ever and so this is a bit odd for me to write, so if it came out really crappy, my apologies. Alsooooo……if ya wanna know who it's about….well, nyah, cuz I ain't ever gonna tell!

****

Tourniquet

****

drip

A small droplet splattered on the wooden floor.

****

drip drip drip

It sounded like rain. They kept falling, like a never-ending shower of tiny particles of her life.

__

I tried to kill the pain

But only brought more

It hurt so bad. She hadn't meant for it to be like that; hadn't meant for it to be that difficult to take. 

The act itself was not much compared to the horror of watching her own blood spill forth from the incision in her flesh. 

__

I lay dying

And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal

The doorknob twisted slightly, and her eyes widened in a sickeningly guilty fear. Panic clawed at her stomach as she realized her fatal flaw; she had not locked the door.

Her tongue felt thick in her throat, and it became hard to swallow. 

****

drip drip

As the door swung open light flooded into the room, illuminating her face, pale with the shock her body was going through.

****

drip

The expression of the young man in the doorway made it clear that he had assessed the situation with frightening speed.

"What are you – Did you – What did you – Oh holy _shit_……"

His words, however, did not come at the rate that his mind had perceived the scene with which it was presented.

****

drip drip drip

Although she froze, her body not knowing what to do, the young man sprang towards her and grabbed hold of her wrists.

As if his contact had restored her body's motor functions she tried to twist away, but his grip held her in place.

****

drip drip drip

"Oh _shit…"_

He spoke again, staring in an almost wonderment at her wrists and the thin red lines that ran grotesquely across them.

Everything started racing through his head at once, and he resisted the urge to cry out. 

Upon having his first useful thought, however, he ran to where a faded shirt lay desolately on the floor and snatched it up with his hand, covered in her blood.

She sunk to the ground as soon as he released her and watched as her wrists continued to bleed, soaking into her clothing and staining the skin beneath.

__

I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

"God….."

She whispered softly to herself, her own voice sounding foreign and strange as it entered into her ears and permeated her mind.

****

drip drip

The boy returned to her and fell on his knees beside her, ripping off a sleeve of the shirt along its seams.

__

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit…"

Muttering the curse repeatedly he wrapped the sleeve around one of her wrists and tied it as tight as the material would allow him.

****

drip

He grimaced as red seeped through the cloth as if it wasn't even there. Her other wrist was bandaged in the same fashion soon after he tore the remaining sleeve away from the shirt.

__

My god my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

Ragged breaths tore at her throat, and she stared at him dully as he repeated the same question over and over again.

****

why?

Shaking her head she stared down at his hands, encircling her wrists and applying pressure over the jagged cuts.

****

why why why why?

"Is God going to send me to hell?"

She asked him suddenly, interrupting his tirade of that single, unanswered question, her voice betraying the uncertainty and anguish that scraped at the lining of her throat.

__

Do you remember me?

Lost for so long

His head snapped up to meet her gaze, and when the fear in her eyes reached his own it dawned on him that she was serious.

"Am I going to hell?"

Repeating her question again, her whole being pleading with him for an answer to feed her unrelenting conscience.

__

Will you be on the other side?

Or will you forget me?

"You're not going to die."

The words rubbed against his tongue like sandpaper, and he found that it took an extreme effort to say them.

Swallowing as if to rid himself of the word 'die' he reached out a hand and gently cupped her cheek in it, ignoring the hysteria that clutched his heart, making it pulsate against his brain.

__

I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

****

don't lie to me

She bent her head and a choked sob escaped from her mouth. Tears overflowed onto her cheeks and she convulsed with the force of her grieving.

When her body could take no more she collapsed forward into his grasp, shaking in his arms.

****

I don't want to go to hell

__

My God my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

Clutching at his shirt she asked him again if she was doomed to spend eternity in purgatory, paying back the sins of her mortal life.

He didn't answer.

__

My god my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

"I don't want to live anymore…"

A small noise was emitted from his throat and his grip on her wrists tightened.

"You can't die."

__

My wounds cry for the grave

My soul cries for deliverance

His words disrupted the air around them and a sharp pain pierced his insides. Large droplets trickled from his eyes as he buried his head in her hair, willing her heart to keep beating.

__

Will I be denied Christ?

"Is God sending me to hell?"

The fingers around her mock-bandages clenched her wrists with strength fueled by fear.

__

Tourniquet

Her head slumped forward and her breaths became unsteady as time passed at a painfully slow pace.

Then, with no warning, the breaths stopped, and the anguished expression that had clouded her features relaxed. 

The young man sobbed a strangled cry, and the sound carved through the air like the knife on her skin.

__

My suicide


End file.
